This blog post is going to be different among others. For the first time, I’m going to write using my own dialect – TAGALOG.
I dedicate this to every person out there who’s only a finger away from giving up and is ready to give up hope, to a person who doesn’t see the point of living anymore, to a person who’s in so much darkness. I tell you, the light is there. You don’t need to look for it anymore. It’s already there.
Ayoko na. Pagod na ako.
You with the sad eyes,
Don’t be discouraged anymore
I know it’s hard to take courage in a world full of people.
Voices that are saying who you are, who you aren’t.
Throughout all of these, you can lose sight of who you are and what makes you happy.
Because darkness suddenly enveloped who you really are.
You lost sight of what truly makes you alive and special and unique.
At times, the darkness can make you feel so small because because you hid who you are and pretended to be someone who you are not.
Do you exist? I wonder.
I’m here riding a shuttle on my way home thinking of you.
Your father abandoned you when you were still a kid. This leave you with scars and a negative label of being inadequate. You told yourself you weren’t loved. It happened because it was all your fault.
Your mother always says that it was a mistake having you. She shouts. Always angry. She says the meanest and negative words about you.
You have a big dream and the people around you says you’ll not make it.
You prepared for that one big opportunity. You know you prepared so much but in the end, you were not accepted. You did not passed.
You see yourself on the mirror and you can only see the ugly parts of yourself
Rejection happens all the time right?
People reject you and sometimes you even do it to yourself.
These are just samples of the many instances of rejection. I’m sure you have your own story tell.
What does rejection do to you?
Let me start with a story.
Hacey goes to work everyday diligently. She always puts a smile on her face regardless of her fatigue and frustrations. Though she keeps a positive attitude, she felt she was already exhausted and tired and wants to make a change in her lifestyle. So she decided to resign and told her immediate head her reasons. Unlike others, she didn’t hunt jobs while still employed. She told herself that she wants to be fair with the company who accepted her and she want to end things right while maintaining her integrity. She thought he’d understand. She told him that she really wanted to resign properly. Her immediate head then explain to the head of their department. But what happened was the overall head didn’t believed her, thinking she already have a job. Then boom. What she thought a good intention became the very reason she was judged.
Bottomline: Never tell the truth
But have you ever had the same kind of experience or even that feeling? Where you are coming from good intentions but people just don’t understand you and sees the worst of you?
Did you ever had so much pain inside? And without reason, you just know it’s there. Like it’s eating you alive. Even though you were trying to help yourself to fight this monster, you can’t do anything about it. You were too paralyzed. You feel weak.
Have you ever felt that?
LOVE ADVOCATE MAILBOX: LETTER 4
Hi. I’m a silent reader of your blogs and they are a big help in my life.
I wanna share this to you and I need your advice as well.
You know what…
I’m one in a million lady who is in the process of waiting. I’m waiting for him I mean for this right man and as I go to the process of course, tests are there. I met a man. He is kind and caring, and he did everything to make me feel secured. However, I ended up making out with him. I feel guilty. I think I’m stuck and I’m prolonging the process of my waiting. I question myself if I still need to wait for “the one” or I will not since I don’t deserve him already.
The person I made out with? We are already strangers. We don’t talk anymore. It was very awkward already. I feel very guilty and ashamed before God. I can’t even have my devotion. Do I even need to ditch my purity ring?
– silent reader