There are times that being grateful is hard. But a lot of times, it becomes harder to thank your self for what you’ve been through.
So I’m going to ask you, have you thanked yourself lately?
For the scars and bruises in your heart that reminded you of how broken your past was and the mistakes you’ve committed that haunted you for so long. Or can you recall the night when you kept on crying because you’re too broken hearted, and too weak? The first night that you finally accepted that you’re no longer together. The night you finally realized that it will no longer work. Remember that? The time you felt that you don’t want to go on anymore?
How about when you lost that someone – your parent, your loved one, your grandma, your grandpa or anyone who has a special place in your heart? The nights and days that your heart seemed to shatter anytime because of too much sadness and too much crying. You can’t think of anything, or any reason to be happy or thankful about. You’re too hurt. You kept on asking God why. You can’t understand His ways.
For the time you were misunderstood and judged harshly. The time that you didn’t understand why of all people, these people, are quick to judge knowing that you are in the same community/organization/ministry/group. You were there because you thought that they’ll not be judgmental as the rest of the world. But you experienced the same.
Remember the time that you felt that you’re too tired of everything. You’re tired from the scolding of your parents, you’re tired of the same work or routine, you’re tired of loving, you’re tired of yourself. You were burned out and people weren’t there for you.
How about the the fearful moments in your life? Those occasions when you question yourself if you can do it, if HOW you can do it, or if even you’re capable of doing whatever it is you feared – love, big dreams, greater opportunities, leadership, responsibilities.
Or the moments that you felt insecure. You looked at some person and can’t help but feel less beautiful, less smart, less attractive. You were not pleased with yourself. You felt you weren’t enough. You felt inferior. You haven’t told this to yourself but you kept on thinking that there was something wrong with you. You looked at your self in the mirror and see that the only person that’s hurting you is you.
How about the time that you can’t forgive yourself because you think that you’re too much of a sinner than anyone else. The nights that you were depressed, and lonely, and alone, and you can’t find any more reason to live…
I can never list all the things that you’ve gone through. I just know that you’ve been through so much in this life. I know your brokenness, but I also know your strength to stand up again. From the mistakes you had, you learned. You became wiser. It taught you a lot. And I’m pretty sure that you want to be kinder and be more loving. And even though there were times that you say to yourself that you can’t do it anymore, you still woke up the next day. You got out of your bed. You got of your pain. Though you’re hurting, you kept on standing.
For all the times that you didn’t understand the reason why He allowed things to happen, and you kept on questioning, and eventually stopped, and discovered the new meaning of trust and surrender. And when you thought that you can’t forgive people, you did. Grace found you. You were courageous enough to forgive. There has always been a special strength inside of you that you never knew you had all along.
You used pain and made it your weapon that made you stronger and braver because that’s who you are.
You are one of the stars in this universe, because the moment there was darkness in your life, you did it. You pass thru. You hold on. You shined. How come you think of yourself as less attractive, as less important, as less loved, as unworthy, as not deserving, as weak, as unforgiving? When all this time the universe was made for you to shine , when all this time you’ve conquered so many scars, and had so many breakthroughs.
I know there maybe bruises and scars inside. That’s why I want to ask, have you thanked yourself lately? Have you complimented yourself recently? For being strong, for being forgiving, for giving another chance, for not giving up, for being courageous, for loving people the best way you can. See? You are beautiful just like the stars in the night sky!
I want to tell you a God up there knows every inch of your pain. And tonight He assures you that you are His star. For you, He’d bleed, He’ll swam across, for He loves you.